I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
