Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
