over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
