ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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