One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
