Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
