I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
