i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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