Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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