C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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