I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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