I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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