Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
