her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
