I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
