Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
