we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
