I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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