like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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