i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
