i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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