Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
