I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
We talked him into tasing himself.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
