Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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