lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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