My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
