Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
