do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I intend to get homeless drunk
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
