Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
