i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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