Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
