Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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