This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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