yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
