Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
