If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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