people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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