Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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