is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Randomize