it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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