Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
