so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
