His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
