they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
