I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
