Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
