What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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