you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
