was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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