Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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