She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it glows. i had to have it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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