12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
