dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
