nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
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