You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
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