her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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