ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
